Friday, October 30, 2009

Sun and Steel

Time for a Halloween themed post here....

Alright...in Fantasy/Video Games/whatnot you have these badguys with these massive sprawling castles of doom'n'gloom.  For Example, you have Icecrown in Wow.  There's Nockmaar in Willow, Barad-dûr in LoTR, even Maleficent's castle in Sleeping Beauty for crying out loud...  

But who builds these things?  I mean, do you have some poor sap of an architect conscripted to build these awful edifices of terror?  Can you imagine Sauron going up to a notable architect of the time and how that meeting would go down?

Sauron
Hey, sup, are you...?

Architect
AAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!  A FLYING EYE!

Sauron
Yeah, get that all the time, but I'd like to discuss a business proposition with you.  See, I've been going over your extensive references, and I feel you have the qualifications I'm looking for.  I'd like you design me a huge tower...are you running already?  I know the project is daunting but...

Architect
Help!  Help me!!  Someone help me!!  The eye!  it BURNS!!!

Sauron
/sigh

I mean, I know some of these badguys are normally immensely powerful wizards and can summon their fortresses of hate through their mastery over magic...but wouldn't that get old after a while?  Destroying the castle to defeat good guys, and then summoning it back again?

Evil Lieutenant
Sir!  The heroes approacheth!

Evil Castle Owner
My insurance is going to go up again...  -.-

But, I guess it's a requirement of the position, because they all have them.  Even the Emperor had his tall tower on the Death Star.

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